When you ask people what temptation means to them, it evokes the feeling of manipulation in a large number of people, someone wants to sell you something that you do not actually need, wants to make you do something that you do not actually want, wants to influence you so that do things that you would not do on your own. In the Bible, temptation is synonymous with enticement to evil. Temptation leaves a bitter taste and you must resist it.
Seduction within the relational/sexual context then gives it a sweet taste. Feeling that the other person wants to make an effort to convince you to like them, that they want to persuade you to start a relationship with them, that in this way they not only offer themselves to have sex with, but also want to do their best so that you are on an equal level with them emotionally and physically, so that you too can enjoy it to the fullest. Temptation inspires, motivates and challenges. It can help you push your limits, broaden your horizons or stimulate your creativity, a game that sparks your imagination.
Yes, here too there is a risk of abuse with the wrong temptation, but it can also be genuinely about arousing a desire for them in you, so that you use each other to appease this desire.
According to Gary Chapman, everyone has a love language. He divided it into 5 languages:
Words of Affirmation: These are compliments, encouragement, or statements that show your appreciation and affection. People who speak this love language feel loved when they hear positive words from their partner. They also find it important to express their feelings with words.
Being together: This means that you enjoy paying time and attention to your partner, without distractions or interruptions. People who speak this love language feel loved when they do things together with their partner, such as talking, walking, cuddling or sharing a hobby. They also enjoy giving quality time to their partner.
Giving and receiving gifts: This means that you like to give or receive something tangible as a token of your love. People who speak this love language feel loved when they receive a gift from their partner, no matter how small or simple. It’s about the gesture and the thought behind it. They also enjoy giving gifts to their partner.
Helpfulness: This means that you like to help with your partner’s chores, tasks or problems. People who speak this love language feel loved when they receive help from their partner, without having to ask for it. It shows that you care about them and that you want to make their lives easier. They also enjoy offering help to their partner themselves.
Physical touch: This means that you like to have physical contact with your partner, such as kissing, cuddling, caressing or making love. People who speak this love language feel loved when they are touched by their partner, in a loving and respectful way. They also find it important to show physical affection to their partner. You feel loved and show your love with your presence, with your actions and your help, with words, with physical touch or with receiving/giving gifts.
Just as there are different love languages, there are also different seduction languages. Your seduction language is a reflection of your personality, mixed with your love language.
You take that language of seduction with you throughout your life and throughout your entire relationship. How you seduce someone in the beginning of a relationship will also be the way you seduce someone when you want romance or sex or when you want something from your partner. How you seduce says a lot about who you are and what a relationship with you will look like.
You will feel the quickest click with those people who speak and understand your language. You will feel misunderstood by people who do not speak your language. Your seduction language is therefore a very good selection, because when people with a different love language and seduction language become a couple, this will cause many problems after a rose-colored period of falling in love. Once you reach a period where you are both not super horny all the time, you will fall back on the temptation to coordinate your sex lives without either of you feeling used.
Seduction is therefore very important in the relationship. And yes, no matter how frustrating it is, the person who has the most desire will have to use their seductive language more often to make their partner also feel the desire. Fortunately, the time when partners were obliged to give each other sex in marriage, whether they wanted to or not, is over. A big part of how happy people are with their sex lives, and even with their entire relationship, coincides with how well they speak each other’s seduction language and how good they are at it. Feeling good about seducing your date is very important because it will determine the rest of your relationship.
What kind of seducers do you have?
1. The peacock: Peacocks seduce with their appearance. When they enter a room, they attract attention by the way they move confidently and show their body. They know that people like to look at them and they like to use that asset. They seduce by being present and offering their bodies.
2. The dog: the dog does everything he can to please the other person and spend time together. A massage, watching a movie together, doing a chore, cooking something delicious. They take their time to make you feel good and wanted. No effort is too much for them to give you the feeling that you can always count on them and that they are there for you.
3. The cat: the cat does not like to please, but they do like to tease. You never know what their next move will be. They are playful, mysterious and challenging. They stimulate your curiosity and desire, but when you think you have a handle and everything is on a silver platter, they withdraw and lure you out of your tent. Where you thought you were the one being seduced, it suddenly turns out that you are the one making the effort to lure the other person. They wait, stroke your leg if you need some encouragement, but clearly show that they want to play this game with 2. They are sweet and inviting, yet you also feel their strength, you know that in their playfulness a claw can suddenly appear. There are rules in the game and they determine the rules.
4. The lion: is charismatic and self-confident, this makes you feel protected and safe with the lion, but also intrigued. Both when dating and when seducing you into sex, it is less about what the lion does, but about what it radiates, a promise of security where you know that you are taken care of.
5. The penguin. Among penguins, exchanging pebbles for sex is a common ritual. The penguin will give you gifts in the hope of attracting your attention. Within the relationship they also engage in barter, with gifts or tasks, and expect to receive something in exchange for their gift.
6. The robin: With robins you are overwhelmed with attention one moment, the next moment they seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth, only to suddenly reappear unexpectedly. This form of temptation is very confusing and can therefore be addictive when this migratory bird is in the country for a while. After a while you crave that attention so much that it is taken away from you at every moment that you do everything you can to try to persuade the robin to stay with you.
7. The hyena: the hyena will not take much action itself, but is nearby and keeps an eye on you. They hang out with the lions and peacocks and feast on the leftovers. For them, seduction consists of offering a shoulder when you have been dumped, to pick you up when you are lonely. Once in the relationship, temptation will involve watching a porn movie together. They often lack the imagination to actively seduce themselves, but learned to use the imagination of others and thus gain a share.
8. The bower bird: the bower bird is not so much concerned with itself, but more with the environment. They resemble the peacock, but do not show off themselves but their surroundings. An expensive car, an expensive timepiece, sexy lingerie, a nice restaurant, dim lights, the right music, candles, flower petals on the bed. For them, setting the right mood is equal to creating the right atmosphere.
9. The Sloth: The sloth is the anti-seducer. Sloths don’t believe in seduction, what you see is what you get. And what you see is unadorned, pure nature.
10. The Chameleon: The Chameleon seduces by taking over the interests, hobbies, music, movies, activities of the person they want to seduce. They become a blank page that can be completely colored with the colors of the other because they have built up little personality and interests themselves.
11. The spider: it resembles the chameleon, but where the chameleon really tries to become a copy of the other, and sometimes really becomes like the other, the spider consciously spins a web of lies. They are skilled at creating illusions and manipulating the truth. The spider is a gaslighter, their charm is a game, only when the loot is in do they show their true colors.
12. The Koala: Koalas are cute, naive and vulnerable. They evoke the protective and nurturing instincts in others.
13. The turtle: turtles take it very easy. Their way of seducing is listening, helping and supporting. They are there for you. They show how reliable they are by being emotionally open, but physically they are very slow to get going.
14. The Octopus: Seduce octopuses with their imagination and intellect. With them everything is an adventure and they love to surprise their partner. They are full of energy and can therefore seem too busy for some people.
Keep this in mind when you date. The way your date tries to seduce you will continue in the relationship. Many people turn a blind eye to a bad tempter in the hope of catching a rare butterfly that still crawls around as a caterpillar. But this illusion only leads to frustration because people very rarely change in this area.
What is your seduction language? Which type of seducer suits you best?
lenigeliefde 